Romania : 2019 to 2023, 4 years of our beautiful lives there

The People of Romania: The ones who made a world of difference for us
These are the ones that made Cluj feel like home, every day
These are the people that we laughed with endlessly
These are the people we love

Irina and I have been more than friends in these last few years. I miss her the most, my Saturday coffee partner. I am immensely grateful to have been a part of your life and proud to see how you balance your life. I will always miss you. Our boys became friends and brothers during Covid, and Andu (her amazing husband) and Irina are like family to us and will always be. We can't wait to see you all since we have Andra now too :) 

Ana, is my very first friend in Romania, and in no time, she became Ranveer's favourite human. We have shared so many memories in those 4 years, and yet we always felt that it wasn't enough. I will always be grateful for having known her, for having shared these beautiful times with her, for bringing the amazing Claudiu (her husband) in our lives. Please let little Sophie know that we already love her so very much and will always do. We miss you all immensely.

Oh, my dear Atti, he was not in Cluj when I left Romania for good. I didn't get to see him one last time and it was probably easier to say goodbye that way :) I miss Aliz’s surprise visits and waves from the balcony, I miss our beer evenings, and I am so grateful that we are friends. I have always loved how you challenge me, how we discuss ideas, and brainstorm so many random things. Thank you for being everything wonderful.

This is Iryna - I have known many people in many parts of the world, yet it amuses me to see how strong and dedicated she is. She is such an amazing combination of kindness and compassion, with passion and ambition. It is rare to meet someone so driven and disciplined - and all these things at the same time. I am truly grateful to have made a friend like her. She became one of the closest people to us in no time, and her daughter, Polina, is as much an inseparable part of our little lives. We dearly miss our time with both of them and look forward to our coffee dates at Baza.

My soul sister Nicoleta - life, as I have known it, is an unfair bitch and I was always the only rider of that roller coaster. Having met her made me realize that I was not alone, not while I have a fierce, passionate, and honest friend like her. I am proud to be her friend. She has shaped her life to be what she wanted it to look like and I have been cheering the loudest. I love her, miss her so very much, especially now that she is going to be a mom herself.

Olga, my dearest friend. When I first met her, we both didn’t speak to each other for weeks. I knew right away that we were more similar than any of us cared to acknowledge. She is such a vibe, by just being herself, she brightened every single day we worked together and lit up my mood by just being. It isn’t every day that one meets someone like that, and I feel fortunate to have her in my life. She has a soul that shines inside out, and no grey sky can ever dim it. Her daughter, little Matilda, is a spitting image of her own soul - kind and ambitious, loving and caring. I love who she is, and I miss being around both mom and daughter so much.

Meet Devyani (Dev-D)! She is everything to us, and it is amazing that not only did we meet randomly in one of my aerial yoga classes for the first time but we shared the level of crazy, the level of good, the level of fun, the level of humour and the level of bitchiness. Besides, she is the most considerate of human beings, the kindest heart, and the sweetest heart. Ranveer and I will not only miss you, but there is a Dev-D-shaped hole in our lives. When we meet next, we are going for brunch with mimosas, shots at Old Shepherds, dancing at Euphoria, and so much more. I can't wait to drag Anand (her husband) with us!

I cannot imagine Cluj without Smriti! She had been around when I needed to vent, talk, or even stay quiet. I will always cherish having known her, and I will fondly remember our conversations, which ranged from Bollywood to Mars—not once did they get dull! She is such a bright, sunny person—I love her energy so much. Thank you for always being just a call away. I will miss us making plans together and randomly catching up.

My sweetest Poorni, more like a sister since we could argue and drive each other crazy 🤣 yet have fun & laugh & yet be gentle and caring about each other. She was the one to put me in a pickle, often saying things like "Flora will host the women's day party and everyone is invited" the first time we went away, and that turned out to be a given every year after that :)) I knew that day that she is going to be an insepearable part of our lives. We miss her and her little one so very much.

My witch sister Daniela, I met her through Smriti, and instantly hit it off. We shared love for yoga, oils, spirituality, parenting strategies, and so much more. I have stayed at her pensuinea only tens of times in those 4 years, her son (Philip) and mine were bros at a different level. They loved playing games, roaming around, and arguing with each other so very much😅. She also set me up on a date once with someone (who I spent an amazing 4 months with)! I don't even know how to describe my relationship with her - it is just too precious. I miss who I am when I am with her.

A lot of memories with a lot of people - all of them nothing short of amazing! Here's a few glipses of our little lives in Romania.

My last meal in the old street where we asked our server if I could "steal" their shot glass 🤣

Brunch before heading to the airport - so many hugs.

Tudor, one of my students, was a server at this cute french place - obviously we had to go there with Mihai, Anca and Petra :)

Raluca - my head of department, technically my boss but I never felt more comfortable working with anyone else as much as I did with her. We turned into good friends and I miss working with her. she is an epitome of what leadership in a school should look like.

The crazy Trio: D-SPF in action. We hung out every so often, whether it was at to drink, to dance, to go to Christmas market, run 5k colour run - no matter the occasion, we loved hanging out.

Daniel - my curly haired spanish twin. A colleague so kind, so helpful - I had to turn him into a friend 😜 some of the best nights we had was because of him.

Sweet sweet Patricia - ever so kind with a smile so sweet welcoming us every morning with a cheerful hello. Cared so much for Ranveer and appreciated us all.

Work was interesting but with these beauties we all survived what wasn't pleasant.😊

And these 3 - they cannot get away from me if they tried. I love them so much

My Girls at work again :)

Half of our department - see why work was fun there :)

They are all so grown up now :)

Daniel and Mara's wedding

IOANA 💗 The coolest mom

Indian Chikas for the last lunch :)

We couldn't see her yet but Sophie is in this photo

Iryna and Andu's Wedding

2023 Prom

I can't even imagine that they already graduated

Beer after Run & Getting stuck in elevator

Last Women's Day Gathering at mine

Birthday fun for us all

Navratri @ Cluj with our Indian family there

Andrea 💗 The best only

Lindsey 💗 Super mum

💗

To a 40 year young Flora: Letter to self from 10 years ago

Hey Flora,

Are you still asked by people around if you're a Catholic or a Goan, or a Punjabi? Lol, remember how your height, your name, your English, and your patient nature used to confuse people about your origin. Do you still have embarrassing times finding a pair of shoes that fit you right or a pair of jeans that fit you well and are long enough for those never-ending legs? Are you still as "Sexy"? Do guys still give you that dirty look from the corner of their eye even if you're clad appropriately :-) And hey, do those old hot pants still fit you?

Well, I'm sure you're smiling by now and also must have started feeling nostalgic. Let me remind you how beautiful your life is TODAY. Exactly a decade ago, you turned 30, and you had probably every experience one could have in a lifetime. Let me take you to some time travel, although you must have hardly forgotten any of these. You dated and married Chitrang, spending 13 years with him, and then separated in December 2014. It took away a lot of time, energy, and positivity from your life.. You were so drained that you used to cry endlessly and hardly had any other thoughts on your mind. But apart from this one experience, you've had a life full of excitement and love. Your son, Ranveer, he was 3 back then, and he used to hug you, give you a peck, and say I Love You every morning when you left for work. You lived with mom-dad for a pretty long time,e then ain't it? Wasn't it assuring to have them by your side all the time? I'm not sure if both of them are still with you, but they loved you and made every possible effort to ease the troubles of your life. Be with them forever, because they never left you.

You never fell short of money, but you had to keep struggling. Not because you were a spendthrift or you couldn't save, but because you were naive and kept lending money and never asked for it back. Gosh, imagine the kind of money you've lost to gain the wisdom you have today, but it's all worth it, just smile and move on. Are you still that way? 

And who kept you going when you were so fucked up? Of course fucked up, you can smile at it now, you must be better off in life now honey, but back then, you had suicidal tendencies - I hope you are past that. And it will always be a well-kept secret why you hate the smell of any insect repellent.

So, going back to who was there for you all that time? But apart from Ranveer, mom-dad & Ben-Miru-Jiju, some close friends like Baiju, Anshi, Ankit, Raghu, Mihir - these guys were there throughout the phase, helping you in various ways so that you would get up every morning and fight like a warrior. And yes, although you claimed to be broke in all ways possible - financially, emotionally, physically, you still managed to find your way out. You took a trip to Goa alone with Ranveer, and you drove a crazy 200 kms on a bike with him. You were completely insane, and I hope you've kept yourself alive.

Getting on with the targets you wanted to achieve and your bucket list. You promised yourself to travel extensively and earn a lot of money as well as to buy a house of your own. I'm sure you've achieved some or all of these goals. You hated to be alone, and I hope you have a companion now. Also, you wanted to have a few more kids, minimum one more kid, preferably a daughter, or at most twins. I just want to ask you if you're happy and peaceful now? Whether or not you achieved these things is irrelevant.

Oh dear Flora, if you haven't yet lived your dream life, let me remind you, a decade, full 10 years, has already passed. Go right now and set your priority straight again. Throw all crap out of your life and be the queen of your own kingdom. Write more often, love a lot, visit your archived emails and Facebook account, and get in touch with everyone you love. Let people know how precious they are to you. Do what your heart says & let the society fuck off (if you still haven't let it).

Loads of Love
You Forever

Turning 40: Promises I made to myself 10 years ago and I kept them ALL

Drafted on Sep 4 2014

I always hated the idea of tying myself down on doing something forcibly, hence never had any resolution. Just life let go by, as it came. But, no time to cry over spilled milk, so here I am making a list of Birthday Resolutions that I swear I'll stick to. And what makes me it publish it publicly, well, my mentor, Manoj Shah, said a few days back that when we make a public announcement of what we intend to do, we're compelled of doing it all the more because a few genuinely concerned people and a few acquaintances will keep pushing you towards it.

BUT I DIDN'T PUBLISH IT🤣 

My Bucket List that I'd like to call My Give A Fuck About Anything Else List

1. Fulfill my WANDER-LUST - Travel endlessly, crazily!

After all, yeh jism sirf bhookh janta hain, literally, the lust to wander in the wild - Woof my way across all those places I've always lusted to go. Top of the list goes my very own - Nanna Bangaluru and the pride of Gujarat of course, The Rannotsav in the little Rann of Kutch.  I want to make sure my son becomes a travel freak too. After all, the lessons that travelling teaches can never happen within the walls of a classroom.

2. Learn a new SPORT

Yes, a new sport at 30 is going to be challenging, but hey, am I not getting younger? So, who cares? And what's on the list - SWIMMING. It's quite surprising how I never even considered it a skill worth acquiring unless I was denied a water sport :-/

3. Write Birthday/ Anniversary letters more often

I used to do a lot of these, for almost every occasion, but with more responsibilities to shoulder, I almost forgot how important this habit was in framing my own personality. Recently, a very old friend showed me how preciously she has treasured ALL my letters to her. I never knew they were taken so seriously. So, don't be shocked if you find a "letter" at your doorstep sometime soon.

4. Be a parent you want to be, neither the one you had nor the one you are expected to be BUT the one your son needs you to be

Children are born with an umbilical cord, not a handbook - why the fuck do these parenting handbooks seem to be "one solutions fits all" when not all kids are the same. I have had enough in the last 3 years of "you should do this" and "you should not do this" - I am just going to raise him to be himself and a decent human being. As Khalil Gibran once wrote, 'children come through you, not to you.'

5. Give as less fucks as humanly possible

I have always been a little bit of what our society calls a rebel. However, what truly is a part of me is a curiosity to challenge social norms that do not fit within my critical thinking circle, that influence my life negatively and try to make me feel bad/guilty/embarrassed/ashamed for being exactly who I am. No more - no more fucks to give - believe whatever the hell you want about me, I have made my peace with it and I won't be doing anything differently to please you :)) 

6. Keep learning - whatever it is, just learn if you do not know it already

Okay, this one is a bit shady in my brain - I might even try to learn things that are not necessarily good but I am fine with it :) 

7. Be kind - ALWAYS

I want to be the kindest person to exist, the one who doesn't judge, the one who creates a safe space for everyone to be exactly who they are. I want to be kind, not nice - the difference being I am not going to try and please others and no matter who they are, no matter how they have treated me, I am going to offer kindness in return, even if it is just in my thoughts.

8. Make More Friends - Date More - Go Out More

Since I met my ex-husband, his friends became mine, and mine were obviously in my bag; however, I never made any new friends along the way. So I am going to make more friends (I know it sounds like I am an anti-social kid in kindergarten, but I do not care). Again, since I met him, I have never dated anyone. A 30-year-old who barely dated 2 people in her entire life :-/ WTF is that! I am going to date more and recycle love :)  And, I am going to go out more, not necessarily with others - maybe even just by myself. 

9. Trust more - Not everyone here is to get me, and I am going to stop questioning people's intentions

Naive? Maybe! I see it as a strength. To be able to trust people, believing that they are doing the best they can in a given situation, believing that there is goodness in everyone, even though I might not be able to see it just yet - that is the kind of strength I want to be. 

10 - Love Myself fiercely

This is something no one has ever taught me - A lot of women around me are not well rested, they prioritise others, claim to love others unconditionally, are taken for granted, and are okay with all of this - in fact, they are proud of it. I do not want this for myself. I want to love myself, respect my own boundaries, and listen to my body/soul. Why? I want my son to love himself, and what better way to teach something than to become one :)

Planning is an important part of life and I do not want to plan my life to the T, however, having a road map might just be what I need the most :) Let this be the roadmap.

Home of a traveler is ever so estranged

As I wake up day after day, the house accepts me and it becomes more a part of me. Every few weeks, I leave to travel and wander. But, every time I return, my home stares back at me like a little upset kid who didn’t like me gone and hence wouldn't allow me to settle in for a few days. I feel at peace here, I like it a bit messy and a lot more comfy. I like the smell of curry in my curtains and a boiling pot of tea for a ready hug-in-a-mug for anyone who might come along. My house is a safe place where we can just be and not be judged, where we can laugh, cry, be happy or sad - all emotions are welcome, where we leave our egos at the doormat and bring in only love and laughter. Every house I have ever lived in was decorated with peace and joy for these are the ornaments that the rich can't afford but the wealthy can. 

I have always enjoyed rains, the splatter of water on the roof, the petrichor in the air, and a sweet feeling of what never was. The rains have brought relief to the scorching heat but it’s the onset of winter, a tell-tale sign, get ready to learn to slow down. It is lush green outside, and just a few more weeks of autumn will change this to the hues of yellow and orange. The trees shed leaves and the birds make cosy nests. The chirping of sparrows will diminish too and the sun will only peek in every now and again. The only thing that doesn’t change here is the warmth and love of the people around us. I sip my morning tea, watching the sun rise as I witness the beauty of change and wonder why people run from it. The uncertainty of life is what makes it so interesting.

Every house that we turned into a home, is a memory that is unerasable. Somewhere, in the dusty corner of my heart, lives a kitchen where we cooked delectable meals which I didn't know then, was also nourishing our souls. When I smell tequila, I remember the crazy fun we had laughing till our stomachs hurt, in a house somewhere unknown. As I hear the traffic go by, in the distance I hear conversations happening on my balcony, they were so deep that it moved my soul. I did not know then that the life I was creating was a life I would live forever with, the best one there is. 

Days pass by and so do nights. Festivities come and go, and seasons change but we remain here, with one another. We bring to our little home, lights, colors, love, kindness, and loads of fun. We’re here, far away from home, far away from celebrations, far away from loved ones. But we’re celebrating the spirit of joy with the beautiful people around us every day. May our home and all our future homes find us to be a little more familiar. May our friends and family always come over for coffee and conversations. May our bars always get people drunk and may our kitchens always have dirty dishes from the night before. 

Freedom From Me

It was an early morning sun that kissed me and took my worries away one fine day. All my life so far, I was blaming either  people or situations or myself for whatever I disliked in my life. I didn't cry and complain through everything but it kept on orbiting my head forever. But this was a different morning when I realised that I only needed freedom from the thoughts that have dwelt like harmful tenants in my head since long and I woke up determined to erase them. 

It was easier said than done but it wasn't impossible. I had to pep-talk myself into believing in the power of me, in the truth of life and the fact that I was an amazing human being. It took very long. It took a lot of energy from me and motivation from my very positive circle of influence. They stood by me patiently, believing in me, making me belive in myself, never losing faith in me for once, not judging me - just being there always. My life has come a full circle - Gratitude! It makes sense of past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. Aftrall, happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, won or consumed hence, gratitue unlocks the fullness of life.

I finally turned the game and tuned to the music of life. I'm happy for everyone around me. I'm happy that I have a past which I have been able to leave in past and the fact that I have a future which I'm busy building right now in a peaceful present. I have goals, I have dreams and I have ambitions - I have a life! 

It wasn't easy, no one said it would be easy but I was so ready for this change. The world hasn't changed but I've made sure that I live in a better place which was in my head. I took responsibilities to own my mistakes, accept them and to change whatever didn't feel right. If we keep on thinking about what others might think and how they might feel, we might never live to be ourselves. Having said that, inclusion is equally important, one's freedom should never hurt or be bonding for anyone else. Freedom brings with it more acocuntability and responsibility than authority. 

Set yourself free from the burden of being strong all the time, from gender roles, from looking beautiful/handsome, from beign successful, from being the best, from never giving up and most importantly from over-expecting. Make mistakes, laugh at the bad hair days, fail and re-do, let it go, hold a grudge for a while if you must but ultimately - forgive, feel all emotions - don't stop being jealous or angry but learn to feel them and move out of it in the zone of peace and love.

Empowement happens from within, if you seek permission from someone else to let you be empowered, you are already accepting them as dominant. Look within for all answers, find the greater purpose of your being, see happiness as an ongoing journey - life's awesome.

的中国 - Of China - De Zhōngguó

It has been 20 months that I came to a wonderland called China. When I came here, I had my own apprehensions, fears, excitement and ideas about China. But, surprisingly and shockingly, none of them were true. Everything that I ever knew about this amazing land before coming here, wasn't even a drop in an ocean. Every day is different, dynamic and challenging. I never feel like it is going to be "normal" any day I wake up - and I like it that way. 

When I came here, I was nervous, hopeful and looking forward to all the advetures China had to offer me. She did take me for a ride, I must admit. There have been times that I've shit scared and crazy excited at the same time. I've been swept of my feet with the kindness and geenrosity of Chinese people. I've been in a constant love-hate confusing relationship with this country. It is one of the most abundant country in the world - abundant in love, nature, beauty, history, cultural richness.

 

Being a vegeterian has been the top most challenge in Chine and the equally difficult thing has been Mandarin. In these 20 months, I've seen many non-chinese people "run" away - literally. I am stubborn and strong headed, probably the reason I am still busy being awesomely myself in this amusing country. There have been times I have wondered "how the hell did I even land here" but on the contrary there have been times I've thought "Wow, I'm so glad to be here".

As a child full of curosity and flexibility - Ranveer has been on a constantly riding roller coaster too. Learning Mandarin for him has been a necessity and I'm proud that he's taken up the challenge is totally nailed it so far. It is a cultural shock well absorbed. He's made friends, cried, laughed, adjusted, compromised, recieved and offered, loved and let loose too. At the end, it's just us, him and me! 

Talking of the climate here, the quote that best defines it for China would be "No witner ever lasts, no spring skips it turns" Every season is amazingly beautiful. Winter, spring, summer, monsoon and autumn - nothing skips its turn. At the end of each one, we sigh "only if lasted a little longer"

A lifetime wouldn't be enough to explore this country but for now, we're happy to do 2 more years here. 

Diwali - Unity in Diversity!

Anren, the ancient town that displays the richness of Chinese culture and the generosity of Chinese people is a place which attracts numerous tourists very year. One of the most beautiful aspect of Anren is its people who have abundant love for everyone. They say here, locally, that Anren is like a last resort, people love to retire at this place because it has everything that can improve the qulaity of one's life. There's so much calm here but there's also a lot of exciting things to do, individuality is respected here and differences are celebrated. No one feels looked down upon by the people here. This place has never ceased to amaze me and Ranveer.

Diwali is a festival of lights, a festival to leave behind your grudges and complains, to start afresh, to celebrate differences, share and care. With Diwali comes a feeling of missing home, missing sweets, missing the fear of fire crackers and the beautiful rangolis. I was apprehensive to spend Diwali here but there wouldn't have been a better place than Anren to celebrate Diwali 2017 and there wouldn't have been better people either.

China, like India, is a culturally rich country that believes in hospitality and hence, there was abundance of everything. To mark the begining of Diwali, my students and we had a dinner together at school in our own classrom! Then, it was a few Chinese friends who invited us to a big meal with traditional Sichuan style Huǒguō customized to suit us vegetarians. It was followed by Mom Maria & Dad Phil having us all over for a barbecue night. And the celebrations ended with a traditional Shāokǎo followed by bursting fire-crackers in the middle of the night, right in the middle of a street and laughing our night out in a wonderful company of people from all over the world.