Freedom From Me

It was an early morning sun that kissed me and took my worries away one fine day. All my life so far, I was blaming either  people or situations or myself for whatever I disliked in my life. I didn't cry and complain through everything but it kept on orbiting my head forever. But this was a different morning when I realised that I only needed freedom from the thoughts that have dwelt like harmful tenants in my head since long and I woke up determined to erase them. 

It was easier said than done but it wasn't impossible. I had to pep-talk myself into believing in the power of me, in the truth of life and the fact that I was an amazing human being. It took very long. It took a lot of energy from me and motivation from my very positive circle of influence. They stood by me patiently, believing in me, making me belive in myself, never losing faith in me for once, not judging me - just being there always. My life has come a full circle - Gratitude! It makes sense of past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. Aftrall, happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, won or consumed hence, gratitue unlocks the fullness of life.

I finally turned the game and tuned to the music of life. I'm happy for everyone around me. I'm happy that I have a past which I have been able to leave in past and the fact that I have a future which I'm busy building right now in a peaceful present. I have goals, I have dreams and I have ambitions - I have a life! 

It wasn't easy, no one said it would be easy but I was so ready for this change. The world hasn't changed but I've made sure that I live in a better place which was in my head. I took responsibilities to own my mistakes, accept them and to change whatever didn't feel right. If we keep on thinking about what others might think and how they might feel, we might never live to be ourselves. Having said that, inclusion is equally important, one's freedom should never hurt or be bonding for anyone else. Freedom brings with it more acocuntability and responsibility than authority. 

Set yourself free from the burden of being strong all the time, from gender roles, from looking beautiful/handsome, from beign successful, from being the best, from never giving up and most importantly from over-expecting. Make mistakes, laugh at the bad hair days, fail and re-do, let it go, hold a grudge for a while if you must but ultimately - forgive, feel all emotions - don't stop being jealous or angry but learn to feel them and move out of it in the zone of peace and love.

Empowement happens from within, if you seek permission from someone else to let you be empowered, you are already accepting them as dominant. Look within for all answers, find the greater purpose of your being, see happiness as an ongoing journey - life's awesome.

的中国 - Of China - De Zhōngguó

It has been 20 months that I came to a wonderland called China. When I came here, I had my own apprehensions, fears, excitement and ideas about China. But, surprisingly and shockingly, none of them were true. Everything that I ever knew about this amazing land before coming here, wasn't even a drop in an ocean. Every day is different, dynamic and challenging. I never feel like it is going to be "normal" any day I wake up - and I like it that way. 

When I came here, I was nervous, hopeful and looking forward to all the advetures China had to offer me. She did take me for a ride, I must admit. There have been times that I've shit scared and crazy excited at the same time. I've been swept of my feet with the kindness and geenrosity of Chinese people. I've been in a constant love-hate confusing relationship with this country. It is one of the most abundant country in the world - abundant in love, nature, beauty, history, cultural richness.

 

Being a vegeterian has been the top most challenge in Chine and the equally difficult thing has been Mandarin. In these 20 months, I've seen many non-chinese people "run" away - literally. I am stubborn and strong headed, probably the reason I am still busy being awesomely myself in this amusing country. There have been times I have wondered "how the hell did I even land here" but on the contrary there have been times I've thought "Wow, I'm so glad to be here".

As a child full of curosity and flexibility - Ranveer has been on a constantly riding roller coaster too. Learning Mandarin for him has been a necessity and I'm proud that he's taken up the challenge is totally nailed it so far. It is a cultural shock well absorbed. He's made friends, cried, laughed, adjusted, compromised, recieved and offered, loved and let loose too. At the end, it's just us, him and me! 

Talking of the climate here, the quote that best defines it for China would be "No witner ever lasts, no spring skips it turns" Every season is amazingly beautiful. Winter, spring, summer, monsoon and autumn - nothing skips its turn. At the end of each one, we sigh "only if lasted a little longer"

A lifetime wouldn't be enough to explore this country but for now, we're happy to do 2 more years here. 

Diwali - Unity in Diversity!

Anren, the ancient town that displays the richness of Chinese culture and the generosity of Chinese people is a place which attracts numerous tourists very year. One of the most beautiful aspect of Anren is its people who have abundant love for everyone. They say here, locally, that Anren is like a last resort, people love to retire at this place because it has everything that can improve the qulaity of one's life. There's so much calm here but there's also a lot of exciting things to do, individuality is respected here and differences are celebrated. No one feels looked down upon by the people here. This place has never ceased to amaze me and Ranveer.

Diwali is a festival of lights, a festival to leave behind your grudges and complains, to start afresh, to celebrate differences, share and care. With Diwali comes a feeling of missing home, missing sweets, missing the fear of fire crackers and the beautiful rangolis. I was apprehensive to spend Diwali here but there wouldn't have been a better place than Anren to celebrate Diwali 2017 and there wouldn't have been better people either.

China, like India, is a culturally rich country that believes in hospitality and hence, there was abundance of everything. To mark the begining of Diwali, my students and we had a dinner together at school in our own classrom! Then, it was a few Chinese friends who invited us to a big meal with traditional Sichuan style Huǒguō customized to suit us vegetarians. It was followed by Mom Maria & Dad Phil having us all over for a barbecue night. And the celebrations ended with a traditional Shāokǎo followed by bursting fire-crackers in the middle of the night, right in the middle of a street and laughing our night out in a wonderful company of people from all over the world.

Veganasaurs - Vegesaurs - Humanasaurs

YES, I am a vegetarian AND No, I don't eat ONLY vegetables. 

I don't usually mention that I'm a vegetarian, but, when I do they suddenly turn to evolutionary nutritionists who are worried about all my problem and calcium intake. I've got 99 problems in life and protein isn't one of them. 

Vegans and vegetarians are tired of being  interrogated for their food habits like it was a question of their existence. 

How do you live without bacon? Chill, it's just a slice of pig flesh not oxygen tank.

Do you drink? Beer, whiskey and wine are all made out of plants! Wake up. 

What about your protein intake? I get my protein from the same place that your "protein" gets theirs from.  

Being one must be really tough? Life's a bitch but, it isn't as tough as being killed.

Do you miss meat? Nope, I miss hope in humanity! 

Not even "a little" meat? Can you please be a little less stupid.

How about fish? Does it grow on trees?

I was born in a society of vegetarians, I grew up to be one but was never forced to choose it. I am not a vegetarian because I don't like eggs and meat, rather, I'm a vegetarian because I have the courage to take responsibility of my choices, because I have the courage to survive off animals for my food. clothes and shelter, because animals are not created for my appetite and pleasure AND I'm certainly not a vegetarian because it is "the in thing" to do! People who say and think that I must be weak because of being a vegetarian clearly have no idea about how much strength it takes to stand up for what you believe in. 

I am not against anyone who eats meat, in fact, I live in and am surrounded by awesome people who happen to eat meat. I'm not trying to convert people's choices and similarly I'd expect equal respect for the choices a vegan or a vegetarian makes. Like one of the versus in bible says "What goes into someone's mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them." Don't judge anyone by their choices and circumstances, it doesn't define or defy who they really are.

The recent beef ban and the aggressive way in which we are reacting to it is a proof that we just wait for a chance to pounce on someone who doesn't make same choices as ours. Let's be and let others be FREE to choose to eat what they want to. All of us have our religious beliefs and choices, let's not force them unto others .I firmly believe that if you cannot stand watching it produced, you shouldn't be eating it. I love being a vegetarian, my body is a garden not a graveyard. It feels amazing to be healthy, well-fed and kind - all at the same time! But it doesn't mean that those who relish their chicken tikka and mutton kebabs are unkind. It simply means that we made different choices. 

From the files of a human who happens to be a vegetarian! 

Guru - The One Less Celebrated!

गुरु ब्रम्हा गुरु विष्णू, गुरुः देवो महेश्वरा, गुरु शाक्षात परब्रम्हा, तस्मै श्री गुरुवे नमः

Guru Brahma Gurur Vishnu Guru Devo Maheshwaraha Guru Saakshat Para Brahma Tasmai Sree Guruve Namah.

Meaning:Guru is verily the representative of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva.He creates, sustains knowledge and destroys the weeds of ignorance.I salute such a Guru

Guru

It isn't about being just a teacher, a Guru is the one who not only holds immense knowledge but is always willing to share every bit of it for the betterment of his disciples. Guru is the creator, the sculptor, who carefully and silently carved all the other professions that have ever existed. Without a Guru, even the wisest of human beings couldn't have achieved anything.

In today's modern, dynamic and ever changing world, the importance of a Guru has grown beyond measures. The role of a Guru isn't limited to the profession of teaching, a Guru has very little to do with age and a Guru has various roles to play in the life of her disciples.

A Guru has to be a teacher who imparts knowledge - not only on a particular topic or subject but also on importance of humble life skills like morales, ethics, honesty, faithfulness AND practices it herself. A student today is smarter and wiser, she doesn't need someone tobrecite the textbooks for her, she need someone to guide her through her own thoughts to reach her own dreams.

A Guru acts as a mentor who constantly challenges the limits of her disciples, encourages them at every stumbling block, doesn't let them give up. A Guru has no solutions to offer, instead, she has questions which will empower the imagination and problem solving abilities within the mentees.

A Guru is a guide who let's her disciple fall and holds her hand to get up again. The one who will not tell her disciples about he right and the wrong but will create circumstances through which the disciples can choose wisely for themselves.

A Guru is a confidant and a friend who can be trusted with secrets, who will always stand by one's side, no matter what, she will always support ones decisions and will allow trial and error.

A salute to all my Guru's who crossed my life in form of teachers and colleagues, foes and friends, parents and siblings, students and more students. Thank you for everything that you've taught me.

Happy Guru Purnima

Motherhood - a choice not a sacrifice!

"Mother" is the synonym of every kind emotion and all the things nice. A mother makes a choice - a conscious effort to bring a soul to life. She is loving, caring, understanding and ready to take on the the world for and with her little bundle of joy. She nourishes a life for nine months in her womb, she teaches her to crawl and walk, she teaches her to stand up tall and speak ever so wonderfully, she feeds and cleans and kisses and hugs the tinnie-tiny. She has sleepless nights and hopeless hair Al out everyday. Puffy eyes and bad hair days become a routine. She runs behind and tells tales and makes weird sounds to feed her. She walks forever or pats on till dawn just to give her a comfortable sleep. She tiptoes even though the noisiest tasks and she never has her tea hot!

She does all this because SHE LOVES DOING IT.

The problem starts when the emotion of love is replaced by the word sacrifice. She does all this because she wants to not because she has to. Similarly, she also loves to have her tea hot or have a quiet shower or poop in peace or read a book or travel on her own or just do nothing and be all by herself. That too is a choice she makes. But if she ever chooses anything even for a little bit of time over her child, she is accused of being selfish or negligent. Isn't she entitled to freedom? Isn't she entitled to have a respectful break? Isn't she entitled to choose what she does rather being forced into it in the name of sacrifice.

On the other hand, when a mother "scarifcies" instead of "choosing" aren't we unconsciously promoting a thought that is like "hey little one, I love you but right now I'm obliging you by sacrificing my life, my dreams, my hobbies and everything that's me. So when you grow up, you owe me everything back. You don't have to like me and choose to do things for me, rather you have to sacrifice and compulsorily do things - because I've obliged you today." On a Deeper note, isn't this why most old age homes are now over crowded? If those parents wouldn't have sacrificed BUT they would have lived their lives too and taught their kids something like "hey buddy, you're the most precious to me but look, I love to do this and I'm doing it and when you grow up, you too must cultivate hobbies and interests while you take care of us like we're doing now. "

We are modeling a behavior that a child is going to learn as a life lesson. Don't teach her that loving oneself is selfish. Rather teach her that you can simultaneously love many things. Don't give up on one because you wish for the other one, instead, Love it all.

So all the mom's and dad's out there, a big shout out to you all for being awesome everyday. You've earned yourself a cuppa, so sit back and enjoy it. Let your little one just be for a while. Let her see you smile more often, learn a little more and love so much.

P. S. When I say mom, I mean a parent!!

Ferocious 5 - milestone 1!

The first thought on my mind when I wake up till I retire is YOU my little darling. From just a n embryo to a tall 6-year-old, you’ve come a long way in achieving your milestone 1, completing 5 years of your life. I never thought I’d be able to nurture a life, but I now believe that the best task I can ever do is to be a mommy! We’ve had our share of parenting troubles in our relationship. Sometimes I’ve messed it up and sometimes succeeded beyond expectations; sometimes you’ve been terrible but most times you’ve been the world’s best kid. So, when I take an average of it all, we’ve been super awesome together.
From a tiny little soul who couldn’t even wake up or sleep on his own, you’ve now turned to a young independent thinker. I can’t imagine how quickly time has flown by (giving me a few more greys). Seems like just yesterday when I was told I’m pregnant and I was too overwhelmed to even speak for next two days. Those beautiful 7 months of my life can never be replaced, that joy, fulfillment and love that I experienced is incomparable, but those 7 months seemed to have lasted like just as long as 7 minutes.
I was told I’m going to have you in my arms in next couple of hours and all the pain vanished in thin air. I started waiting to see the man I’d already fallen in love with. That first cry, those big eyes, pink skin and a 3.5 kilo bundle of joy was handed to me to adore for a lifetime and I thought I’ll let you be small for as long as possible. But you, my little sweetheart, couldn’t contain the excitement of coming to this world and you turned one soon. That little crawler with dark hair and thunder thighs grew up to be a climber and a runner too soon for me to catch up with. And while I was still busy cherishing those newly learnt words MUMMA, you started talking like you were never going to stop (and it hasn’t yet stopped). The skills I thought only existed in those parenting books were actually building up in front of my eyes and I could barely contain my excitement. I’d crawl and run with you, I’d speak the same accent as you, I’d speak on the toy phone you handed me, I’d cook and serve in your toy kitchen, we’d drink from toy glasses and oh my God, we’d cuddle endlessly, kiss passionately and laugh out loud at every single achievement. I miss it all, but I’m glad you’ve finally outgrown my lap to discover the world all by yourself. I’m going to hang around for a couple of years more (till you ask me to stop interfering) but let me assure you that my physical presence doesn’t matter. You’re a part of my being and so whenever you need me, you’ll find me within you.

HaPpY BiRtHdAy To YoU & mE aS wE bOtH fInIsH 5