Turning 30: Be Your BFF!

 

Turning 30 was quiet an experience for me. 

I wasn't nervous or sad that I was turning 30, I was excited - I always thought that people in their 30s has their shit sorted out and I wanted to be that person. I had had a challenging late 20s due to many factors so 30s felt like a breath of fresh air. 

I learnt so many thing about me, my relationships, my body, my health and so much more. If I had to turn 30 again, I would want to know some things so here are my top 5 pieces of advice for those turning 30 soon, as I cross it and move to my 40s.4

1. Your relationship with your body is THE MOST important one

Learn to listen to your body, its limitations, its strengths and what it loves. Mine is a movement body. I need to move whether I am happy or sad, excited or upset - for me, movement is the secret to feeling everything, to feeling deeply and to experience it all. I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 32 and learnt that I had been living with it for 4-5 years. There was no option but to get a surgery. I learnt after that food, exercise, movement of fascia etc could have helped me manage my situation. Following the surgery, I changed my lifestyle completely and I wish someone had asked me to it earlier. Pain is NOT normal - if you have any pain, whatsoever, learn about it, build a relationship with your body, listen to it. 

2. THINK not only from one brain

It has been prove that we have 3 brains, the head brain (encephalic), the heart brain (cardiac), and the gut brain (enteric). All these 3 have different functions. While the head brain is responsible for higher order thinking, analysis and rational decision making, the heart brain processes emotions related to the said decision as also storing emotions and the gut brain store information about safety and dangers. There are many more things that these brains are responsible for and from this one example, we can see how important it is for us to improve our relationship with each of these to live a life we are destined to.

3. Make AS MANY FRIENDS as you can

I was always under the impression that you need a few good friends and that is enough - NOT TRUE!!! Have mom/dad friends, have friends for drinking, friends who love to eat the same food as you, friends who like the activities that you do, friends to have deep talks with and friends to just chill around - FRIENDS is the key to your beautiful life, do not be miserly and deprive yourself the joy of knowing more people. I love my people - I hope you find yours.

4. Take RISKS 

One thing I noticed about ageing is that fears, all kinds of fears, increase. Fear of failure, fear of being unsuccessful, fear of losing - and what it does is stops you from trying. I noticed that I had to consciously make decisions because my gut brain would try to stop me from the past experiences it stored and my head brain would rationalize those fears while my heart would start processing negative emotions regarding the said decision. This is also the reason to understand the connection between each brain. Taking risks is not bad, no matter the age.

5. Love yourself FIERCELY

Love yourself like no one else does. Love the way you look, your shape, your hair, your eyes, your soul - love and appreciate yourself. DO NOT talk about yourself negatively - your body hears it and it does take everything personally so say to yourself the kindest things you humanly can, be your own cheerleader and carry your sunshine. Do not let anyone bring you down - you are amazing.

6. BE KIND no matter what

In a world full of doubts, frauds, scams and negative things, be kind. People come from different walks of life, with different experiences and many stories to tell. Do not judge them, not when you don't know and not after you know them - be kind and accept them for who they are. Love them if you can, or do not but make sure to use kind words and if you act, make it an act of kindness. If you learn to do this in your 30s, you will find peace for the rest of the years to come.

7. COMMUNICATE 

Listen to understand not to generate a response. Knowing someone is the key to understanding them, their needs and how can you be of assistance to them. Similarly, talking to express not to argue is equally important. If you are expecting someone to love you the way you want to be loved, tell them exactly what you need. No body is a mind reader and the social norm of "understanding without saying" is not an act of love for everyone, sometimes it is torture. If you are upset, talk; if you want attention, say so; if you are busy, tell them! 

8. Continue to LEARN 

Become obsolete begins when we stop learning. Learning doesn't necessarily mean academic. You can pick up a hobby, learn a new language, a new skill or sharpen the ones you once acquired. Learning helps keep you young at heart and mind. Learning is underrated in our lives, something as simple as hacks, could also be learning. This allows you to have small wins on the days that feel impossible to deal with.

9. If you hate/dislike your job CHANGE IT

Life is too short to keep bitching about hating something that you do for 40+ hours a week. Change it. It is okay if the new career pays lesser at the beginning, it is better than complaining for 20-25 years more about how you hate what you do. After spending 8 hours doing what you dislike, you spend 2 more everyday cribbing, complaining or feeling sorry for yourself. That is 10 out of 16 waking hours hating on yourself. Life is too short for that shit.

10. Travel ALONE 

At least once in your 30s go on a trip all by yourself. Discover the pleasure of your own company. No one to please, no one to take care of, not worrying about schedules or others emotions - just being in your own zone and doing what you love. Give yourself and opportunity to enjoy this at least once. Plan (or not) on your own, take ideas but no inputs - just do it all on your own.

Bonus for SINGLES only: DATE more, recycle love

If you are single, for whatever reason, don't let that stop you from having fun. Nor every date will be dreamy and not every person you meet will be witty but you deserve to go out and meet the people you thought were not kind - the sheer joy of knowing people more than friends is unbelievable

Enjoy your 30s 💓💓