Death is not when you die, it is when the ambitions within you die. The day your dreams seem accomplished and all goals achieved, be rest assured, death is round the corner, playing peek-a-boo. But what about those who die with still un-achieved goals and incomplete dreams in their eyes? Life & death are one thread and no one escapes either. Though, some live just one breath while some hold through every breath cunningly and than there's this breed of humans who can bridge the gap between life & death - and they live forever. It takes a lot of courage to be your own self and live a life that shall not give-up or give-in. Like there's fire at one end and ashes at the other in a cigarette, the same is with life. If your fire burns out, you're not worth more than that ash. Live while you're alive, you're anyway going to die, whether you choose to or not.
Why so much fuss about living and dying? Is it a question of life an d death to travel earth? Isn't it enough that you get a FREE trip around the sun while you're on earth? When people like me make fun of "death" we're considered to be Oh not so living, kinds. But, are those who keep worrying about death living any more? Why worry about something that we have no control over? Why worry and have wrinkles while you can smile and have dimples :-)
I was to go on a not-so-social funeral of a boss's father-in-law & what I witnessed there left me worrying about my own parents. The scene seemed to have emerged directly out of a tragic Hindi movie. A house full of women crying inconsolable over the death of an 80 something old man (who lived his life happy & joyful). The best part about it was the children playing around with no knowledge of what had gone so wrong. They too, like me, seemed to be tired of all the fuss over something so natural. As more people joined in to "console" the grieving, it seemed more like a fight to cry more and win a competition, at one point, I really had to control my laughter when one of the females cried aloud with not even a tear rolling down the eye and just in a fraction of second, as her mobile phone rang, she started talking so normally, as if she'd never cried! OMG, was this love for the dead or a show & tell in a kindergarten class? I don't intend to say by any means that the emotions flowing there were untrue, no, they were surely as pure as one can imagine, but is this the only of showing your love towards the one who have already begun their journey to the unknown?
I came home, all sick & tired from an absolutely emotionally over-whelming experience. As soon as I reached home, I was greeted with the tightest possible hug from the loveliest person on earth - my 3 year old son and a warm smile from the most elegant lady on earth - my 60 year old mom. Soon, my dad, the most humble man I've known, joined us. As we sat to discuss our day, my first question to them was, how do you guys want us to handle you "after-death" scene! They were surprised (not shocked) to hear this question. I explained them how terrible I felt when I visited the funeral today and they understood what I meant, I never want them to die, but is this a demand hat they can ever fulfill? So, they replied with a lot of grace. Their first clear thought was, they wanted us daughters to light their pyres (in Hindu tradition, this is the birth right of a son), secondly, they wanted to have a "before-death party" to ensure that they've met their family in due time to let them know how much each person means to them. Lastly, they said with a smile - "we want to hear no cries, we'd be happier in heaven seeing people smile at the wonderful lives we lived. Rather, we'd be happier if our children exhibited our family values in their way of life."
We, as a family, are very comfortable with the nature of life and death, and that we come to an end. What's most difficult to imagine is that those dreams and early yearnings and desires of childhood and adolescence will also disappear. But who knows? Maybe you become part of the eternal. Hatred is corrosive of a person's wisdom and conscience; the mentality of enmity can poison a nation's spirit, instigate brutal life and death struggles, destroy a society's tolerance and humanity, and block a nation's progress to freedom and democracy. Live & let live - while you're still alive!
Why so much fuss about living and dying? Is it a question of life an d death to travel earth? Isn't it enough that you get a FREE trip around the sun while you're on earth? When people like me make fun of "death" we're considered to be Oh not so living, kinds. But, are those who keep worrying about death living any more? Why worry about something that we have no control over? Why worry and have wrinkles while you can smile and have dimples :-)
I was to go on a not-so-social funeral of a boss's father-in-law & what I witnessed there left me worrying about my own parents. The scene seemed to have emerged directly out of a tragic Hindi movie. A house full of women crying inconsolable over the death of an 80 something old man (who lived his life happy & joyful). The best part about it was the children playing around with no knowledge of what had gone so wrong. They too, like me, seemed to be tired of all the fuss over something so natural. As more people joined in to "console" the grieving, it seemed more like a fight to cry more and win a competition, at one point, I really had to control my laughter when one of the females cried aloud with not even a tear rolling down the eye and just in a fraction of second, as her mobile phone rang, she started talking so normally, as if she'd never cried! OMG, was this love for the dead or a show & tell in a kindergarten class? I don't intend to say by any means that the emotions flowing there were untrue, no, they were surely as pure as one can imagine, but is this the only of showing your love towards the one who have already begun their journey to the unknown?
I came home, all sick & tired from an absolutely emotionally over-whelming experience. As soon as I reached home, I was greeted with the tightest possible hug from the loveliest person on earth - my 3 year old son and a warm smile from the most elegant lady on earth - my 60 year old mom. Soon, my dad, the most humble man I've known, joined us. As we sat to discuss our day, my first question to them was, how do you guys want us to handle you "after-death" scene! They were surprised (not shocked) to hear this question. I explained them how terrible I felt when I visited the funeral today and they understood what I meant, I never want them to die, but is this a demand hat they can ever fulfill? So, they replied with a lot of grace. Their first clear thought was, they wanted us daughters to light their pyres (in Hindu tradition, this is the birth right of a son), secondly, they wanted to have a "before-death party" to ensure that they've met their family in due time to let them know how much each person means to them. Lastly, they said with a smile - "we want to hear no cries, we'd be happier in heaven seeing people smile at the wonderful lives we lived. Rather, we'd be happier if our children exhibited our family values in their way of life."
We, as a family, are very comfortable with the nature of life and death, and that we come to an end. What's most difficult to imagine is that those dreams and early yearnings and desires of childhood and adolescence will also disappear. But who knows? Maybe you become part of the eternal. Hatred is corrosive of a person's wisdom and conscience; the mentality of enmity can poison a nation's spirit, instigate brutal life and death struggles, destroy a society's tolerance and humanity, and block a nation's progress to freedom and democracy. Live & let live - while you're still alive!
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