Sitting on the terrace, with a cup of mocha, I stare blankly at the sky above. It's dark, no stars. There's little breeze around and the weather is cool. A couple of hours and I'll never be the same again as I turn thirty. All my life I waited to grow up and today, I can't wait to be thirty. As a kid, I wrote a vision of my life and the goals thereof. Those were, get married, have a kid and a house of your own before you are thirty. And here I am, achieving everything I planned to. But, I never wrote what I didn't want, like I never wanted my relationship to end, it still did before I turned thirty. I never wanted to be single, here I am, on the verge of entering flirty thirties with a tag of single and ready to mingle. I felt, with the kind of society around, that I should be sad and devastated over the fact that I'm turning older and I'm single, but, the fact is, I'm happy I'll get to do something new, experiment a little more and learn a lot once again in life, that too when I'm on a special edge of turning 30.
Grey hair and wrinkling skin are most often the concerns of women who are about to turn 30, to me, they mean to tell a tale of a life well lived. I want to turn old with the beauty of being wise. I don't want those tummy tucks and silicon implants to hide the real me. I am happy with the silver lines on my body that tell a tale of my motherhood, that sag which sings the tunes of romance and the shades of grey that show how dirty I can be at thirty. I'm still that little naughty thirteen year old who wants to play peek-a-boo, wander about carelessly on my bicycle, not worry about the tan I get, wearing the old rugged shorts. I want to sing aloud as I go through with the daily chores at home, I wanna fall carelessly over spilled water at work, I want to laugh loudly and smile often - what can stop me? Nothing, I murmur to me as the charming night hugs me tighter
New paradigms await me. The shifts that people can't even think of, I'm going to leap over and jump toward them. Turning 30 to me can be anything but scary and fearful. It is exciting, enthralling, enchanting and overwhelming BUT here I sit enjoying it all by myself, no one to intrude my privacy. My son deep asleep with a smile on his lips and a shine on his face that let's me know how happy he is to have me as his mom. From being a daughter, a sister, a friend, an educator, a colleague, to a mother! What a transition of roles. Life has surely been a bumpy ride, but the good part is, I enjoy these wild rides.
Tough testing times were a part of all this throughout the life, but those are the times that taught the best lessons of life. I have no complaints or regrets of having lived my life the way I have, so far. I don't intend to live my life for pleasing others, I'm not here for that. I've just turned 30 a few seconds back and I promise myself to be who I am and fight for it - all my life. Be the change I want to see in the society around me. no matter how far I go, what means to me is how deep I penetrate in the minds and hearts of those who have crossed my life. I want to live to leave a mark behind me, a mark that will ensure a more dignified life for many.
New paradigms await me. The shifts that people can't even think of, I'm going to leap over and jump toward them. Turning 30 to me can be anything but scary and fearful. It is exciting, enthralling, enchanting and overwhelming BUT here I sit enjoying it all by myself, no one to intrude my privacy. My son deep asleep with a smile on his lips and a shine on his face that let's me know how happy he is to have me as his mom. From being a daughter, a sister, a friend, an educator, a colleague, to a mother! What a transition of roles. Life has surely been a bumpy ride, but the good part is, I enjoy these wild rides.
Tough testing times were a part of all this throughout the life, but those are the times that taught the best lessons of life. I have no complaints or regrets of having lived my life the way I have, so far. I don't intend to live my life for pleasing others, I'm not here for that. I've just turned 30 a few seconds back and I promise myself to be who I am and fight for it - all my life. Be the change I want to see in the society around me. no matter how far I go, what means to me is how deep I penetrate in the minds and hearts of those who have crossed my life. I want to live to leave a mark behind me, a mark that will ensure a more dignified life for many.
No comments:
Post a Comment