"Mother" is the synonym of every kind emotion and all the things nice. A mother makes a choice - a conscious effort to bring a soul to life. She is loving, caring, understanding and ready to take on the the world for and with her little bundle of joy. She nourishes a life for nine months in her womb, she teaches her to crawl and walk, she teaches her to stand up tall and speak ever so wonderfully, she feeds and cleans and kisses and hugs the tinnie-tiny. She has sleepless nights and hopeless hair Al out everyday. Puffy eyes and bad hair days become a routine. She runs behind and tells tales and makes weird sounds to feed her. She walks forever or pats on till dawn just to give her a comfortable sleep. She tiptoes even though the noisiest tasks and she never has her tea hot!
She does all this because SHE LOVES DOING IT.
The problem starts when the emotion of love is replaced by the word sacrifice. She does all this because she wants to not because she has to. Similarly, she also loves to have her tea hot or have a quiet shower or poop in peace or read a book or travel on her own or just do nothing and be all by herself. That too is a choice she makes. But if she ever chooses anything even for a little bit of time over her child, she is accused of being selfish or negligent. Isn't she entitled to freedom? Isn't she entitled to have a respectful break? Isn't she entitled to choose what she does rather being forced into it in the name of sacrifice.
On the other hand, when a mother "scarifcies" instead of "choosing" aren't we unconsciously promoting a thought that is like "hey little one, I love you but right now I'm obliging you by sacrificing my life, my dreams, my hobbies and everything that's me. So when you grow up, you owe me everything back. You don't have to like me and choose to do things for me, rather you have to sacrifice and compulsorily do things - because I've obliged you today." On a Deeper note, isn't this why most old age homes are now over crowded? If those parents wouldn't have sacrificed BUT they would have lived their lives too and taught their kids something like "hey buddy, you're the most precious to me but look, I love to do this and I'm doing it and when you grow up, you too must cultivate hobbies and interests while you take care of us like we're doing now. "
We are modeling a behavior that a child is going to learn as a life lesson. Don't teach her that loving oneself is selfish. Rather teach her that you can simultaneously love many things. Don't give up on one because you wish for the other one, instead, Love it all.
So all the mom's and dad's out there, a big shout out to you all for being awesome everyday. You've earned yourself a cuppa, so sit back and enjoy it. Let your little one just be for a while. Let her see you smile more often, learn a little more and love so much.
P. S. When I say mom, I mean a parent!!
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